| "...windshield, radio, side mirror, girlfriend, windshield, girlfriend, radio then girlfriend. " |
The only bright spot was the teacher, Mr. Glass. Not only was he passionate about
the "Rules of the Road", he obviously had the type of name that begged for a
nickname. Mr. Ass, I mean Mr. Glass Ass, I mean Mr. Glass placed the fear of
"Highway Hypnosis" deep within my psyche. What is "Highway Hypnosis?" I am
glad you asked. This occurs when you are lulled into a semi-hypnotic state
brought on by staring straight ahead while driving. Before you realize that you
are in a sleep walking state, you are careening into a ravine, on fire. Shudder. He had one cure and one cure only for avoiding such a tragic demise. Mr. Glass would thunder, "Windshield, rearview mirror, side mirror then windshield." A clockwise movement of the eyes to insure your ability to remain alert. "Never allow your focus to remain in one place for than 10 seconds." Not an easy feat during a long drive. I would practice this technique and find that I became dizzy. It was a tough choice between feeling nauseated and succumbing to "Highway Hypnosis". With this in mind, I altered the clockwise movement to, windshield, radio, side mirror, girlfriend, windshield, girlfriend, radio then girlfriend. Whether or not Mr. Glass would have approved this customized method is irrelevant. I survived my teen years without once lapsing into "Highway Hypnosis". As the years inevitably passed, I came to appreciate Mr. Glass's cure. The "10 second" rule is a little tough to swallow, but I do keep my eyes moving and I have only suffered a few minor altercations with my fellow vehicles. So next time your are driving down a dark lonely road, remember Mr. Glass's rule, "windshield, rearview mirror, side mirror then windshield". This has been a public service announcement from My Daily Driver.com.  |
